R E B O R N

its been a while since i last wrote out a post so here it goes.

right now, my head is full of someone. 

i dont know why. i dont even know how this started.

its a crush. i havent had one in three years. i never felt this giddy about someone else’s existence in such a long time. i almost forgot how this felt. 

its a good feeling. wanting to get out of bed in the morning just thinking you might get the chance to see him today. even when having a shitty day, one sight of him turns it all around. seeing him first thing in the morning gives you an invincible feeling that nothing could bring your mood down. 

imagination. daydreams. its all coming back. it runs through a million times a day. our magical meeting. our perfect relationship.

it truly has been a while.

he doesnt know i even exist. like most crushes, he will never actually know my feelings for him. i will fantasize, obsess, and stalk from afar, until one day it will be physically impossible. thats how i crush on guys.

in all honesty. im scared to get to know him. im terrified to get to know his true thoughts of me. im horrified that reality will break my fantasy. i do not want my innocent love to become tainted.

not only that.. i have someone. he’s frustrating and not at all loves me in the way i want to be loved. but i cannot afford to lose him. three years ive given my everything to him. he has me on lock. i am his possession. the years tied me down to him even more. but with him. i have just given up. i have surrendered. 2000 miles away, and yet he has sucked me dry. i wont blame him. although i tell myself only if he had treated me better, only if does the things in my favor, only if he could love me the way i deserve, only if he would make me officially his.. but those are all excuses. i love him. i tell myself i do. and maybe one day, just one day, it’ll be enough for me. 

he is just a crush. i already belong to someone. 

this post.. is not to tell the world about my feelings. or let certain anyone know. this is to reassure myself. dont get swayed. dont get hopeful. be thankful for what you already have. and know the inevitable outcome. 

marrythrnight:

Toph’s blindness was one of the most excellently handled aspects of AtLA because it wasn’t treated like a disability. So often in shows (and especially children’s animation) disabled characters are limited to appearances in “very special episodes” where the main characters have to learn a lesson that these people are capable “in spite of” their handicaps, like that episode of Kim Possible wherein Kim constantly stumbles over herself around Felix. This approach is often just as insulting as making them the butt of jokes, because it’s patronizing and it limits the amount of roles disabled characters are allowed to have.

Avatar challenged that stereotype with Teo, and then sent a giant middle finger its way by introducing Toph. She’s turned what would otherwise be a disability into an advantage, and she’s not afraid to crack jokes about it. She functions well enough that the other characters often forget that she is blind, but at the same time it’s an integral part of her bending and allows her to be the greatest earthbender ever. It sends a powerful message that having a physical disability does not make you less of a person, and often affords you a unique perspective that the so-called “normal” people never get to experience.

(Source: thetalesofbasingse, via gocchan-tm)

fyeahweschan:

oh, the epicness innit :)) wesley chan!